IX: A Shark Fighting a Polar Bear and the Seven Deadly Sins. (blog unrelated)

Greetings. So, first and foremost...



BEAR VS. SHARK.
BEAR VS. SHARK.
BEAR VS. SHARK.


You voted for it, you got it.



*ahem*
And now for something completely different.




So I mentioned something last time about listening to a lot of Dio, and I figured that (since last week's poll was completely unrelated) I'd just blog about that. You already know this if you follow me on Twitter, but I'm currently in the process of writing a musical. Now, I know what you're thinking- "A musical? That's like the least metal thing of all."

I would've agreed with you, before I was struck with a blinding strike of inspiration in World Mythology class one day. With my hyper-advanced brain, I was able to discern that the first three letters of "Dionysus", the name of the Greek god of the harvest, wine, orgies, and madness, were congruent with the last name of the late best and most awesome metal god-

Ronnie James Dio. (May he rest in peace.)

Anyway, once I hit that point it wasn't far until I decided to write a musical Dionysian tragedy set to the music of Dio. From that humble glimmer of an idea has grown a Brecht-ian play within a play, insofar that it's a meta-Dionysian tragedy: a Dionysian tragedy WITHIN a Dionysian tragedy! And it's set in modern times and culturally relevant. Certain events motivate a character to gather some friends and write (and eventually put on) a show called "Dio: Sex and Metal" in which Dionysus, playfully referring to himself by the nickname "Dio" crashes a frat party two nights in a row, with sexy (and devastating) results.

Now you might be doubting how good of an idea this is. You may at some point decide that the Greek gods are not inherently metal, or that classical theater is somehow not exciting. At this point I'd like to direct you to the fact that in "Bacchae" by Euripides, Dionysus sets up a scheme that fucks over his enemy worse than any instance of being fucked over since.

He has him torn limb from limb by a drunken, frenzied orgy which is incidentally led by his mother, who Dionysus then further brainwashes to BRING HIS SEVERED HEAD TO HIS GRANDFATHER'S PALACE AND PUT IT ON DISPLAY.

All the women in the orgy get exiled, and Dionysus drinks wine and frolics into the sunset, laughing maniacally...

...and slowly wanders towards the next town, all the while getting drunk and having massive, rolling orgies.

He's a loner, a misfit of the gods. He hates humanity and wanders around the world, stealing women for his massive drunken orgies. He gets everybody drunk and crazy and causes many people to die horrible deaths.

Sounds like metal to me.



Also, I get to rewrite the lyrics of Dio so they fit the story, and that's a lot of fun. It's also very silly to find out that the chorus line of "Holy Diver" can be sung with the same cadence as "Di-o ny-sus!"

I'm two thirds done with the rough draft, so expect this to be a real thing in the second half of the year.


Until next time, stay metal!
\m/