XVIII: Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn. Ia, ia, Cthulhu fhtagn.

I've talked about the sheer metal that is Cthulhu before, but I haven't really done him proper justice. Tonight I happen to be a tad freaked out about Cthulhu, so I figured I'd blog about him and how he totally fucking exists. Even as I type this he's fucking with me, and I'll explain that too. But first, you need to hear this.



That's "The Bloop", an infamous noise recorded from somewhere deep in the ocean, at the coordinates South 50° and west 100°. If it sounds weird, it's because that version was sped up times 16 because the real version was much deeper, much slower, and more importantly, much louder. In fact, this was so loud that it was heard by three different aquatic recorders about 5,000 kilometers apart. If you'd like to venture a guess what could be making this noise, go ahead. If not, I suggest you play this in the background while you read the following text.



Due to the wavelength of the deep, loud noise, scientists can tell that it was made by a life form, and due to the deepness of the frequency and the fact that this thing called out through the entire ocean means they can label it as "pants-shittingly gigantic", at the very least several times bigger than the blue whale.


The infamous statue. If you know what this is you'll probably appreciate this whole post more.

As if it wasn't obviously enough Cthulhu, the coordinates are very close to the location of his ancient, sunken city R'lyeh. If you're not familiar with the story, Cthulhu is the High Priest of the Old Gods, ancient beings of incredible power. But this power got away from them, and they expelled themselves from the universe; all but Cthulhu. As the High Priest, he knew of a spell to summon them back, but he would have to wait many millenia for the planets to align. As such, he now resides sleeping in his sunken underwater city, not dead but dreaming. And you know what that deep, loud, prolonged noise is?

He's just talking in his sleep.

Cthulhu is known for his psionic attacks, because as an Old God, his power is so terrible that merely his dreaming causes occasional nightmares, visions, and insanity to those sensitive to his calling from the deeps.

So if by reading this you get Cthulhu nightmares, it might be because it's scary. It might be because you had it on your mind. Or it might be that you just became aware of something that had been nagging at your subconscious for a while. The threat is real, friends, and the fact that he's stirring does not bode well for us at all.



All in all, he'd still get my vote.
Ia ia fhtagn!